Thursday, October 17, 2019

I made it this year!

Hi? It's been a really long time since my last visit and now i got a feel like i'd like to write something i currently focusing my life at, at least i made something useful people gonna see or i'll gonna inventory.

So, i feel like this year my life has been changed, also myself is changes a lot, this year, when i realize that imma super blessed daughter for having a really good supportive + friend-able parents, i thank God really much for blessing me with this priceless blessings.

They're the main reason after God that i'm so thankful it happened in my life, they are the one who taught me a lot of universe deep knowledge and something related to higgs boson (we called it Partikel Tuhan) also stuffs related about the deep meaning of this life and what's actually ourselves are, in the another perspective.

My dad once said to me that this life is actually handled and happened because of our own selves, we did something good so we surrounded by good, we did wrong/mistake/bad so we're surrounded by them. It means that this life is nothing but a projector of what's inside ourselves.

The facts that literally has changed me and enough a bit too much to shock me is that the fact of  If someone comes to me telling me their in problem or if i heard some problem happen whether it's from Television, Newsletter, Broadcast or even when you eyeing people in battle, like every problem that you heard and saw means that you done something imgood that has contributed to their problems. So it's like we're the one who made them got it on themselves.

That enough surprise plus like a moments after that i got myself surrounded on people's whose in problem everytime i opened my phone. So then i realize, yes, i made a mistakes that day so that probably those has contributed some problem to people around me.

Then i realized this life, what this life actually made for, what allah wants me to become, also how i shall face of each hard times season. The tests is always there, however it stands like once or twice a week or once of two weeks or something. But indeed, there would always come, the test, in order to make us stronger time by time. I tried to not feel overwhelmed of what things just would came into my life, because i do believe that Allah wouldn't give me something bigger that mine can't bear.

Also i tried, or precisely i forced myself to at least made some step forward better than i was been yesterday, or for keep do things i've commit to be consistenly which changes myself for sure as well. I do exercises when yesterday i wasn't, i do eat Healthy when yesterday it wasn't this deli and easy and also felt so hardly bear beyond myself before, i do forgive myself for wronging things and stuff i can't even imagined right know, i do things i was afraid of when i was in yesterday, i did things i never expect i would do, i tried to get out from my comfort zones when yesterday it was my biggest fear.

I get acquainted with new people with it each diversity, i make food i thought it is good and delicious for myself only, i do things i realize i could, because i realize i should habituate myself for the real life as a person, ain't a kid, ain't a teenager, as a person who shall handle their live as well. and i tried it, so at least i'll not get it really hard nor getting stressed about being mature later.

I taught myself to tried my best to handle things that happened within my life, like how this world would act to me has it's own rights, but i did also have my own rights on how i should react to them, to threat people as good as me not as bad as they are, you know, people making mistakes, people do wrong, but that mostly isn't what they wanted to be.

Hey, i wrote this don't mean i'm better than anyone else, i'm still trying my best hard too and i made mistakes too, i isn't this good but i'm progressing, and that proud me enough!

Also understand this doesn't mean we can't avoid problems and stress or depression or anxiety but you can ease it, you know those difficult times come in order to make you stronger and wiser, those hard times come to test you either you deserve to go higher.

hey y'all t's okay to be in hard times! The better days are precessed to coming that way, hang on please!

I also need at least to do things i haven't been do again lately, being productive sounds glamour than sleep in my room for the whole day everyday isn't it? Haha, see you the better myself start from yesterday~~ hehe so this is what my friday productive morning be like, it's nice to share yours too anw <3

and these are my personal motivation for myself, maybe it could inspire you or just fyi.

"you receive what you spread, you got what you has done"

"please don't blame God for your mistakes and failure since it is your rights to pray and to ask rather you tried those hard but you got no grateful for what you have."

lol cringe and sound vicious but i made it for myself, thanks in advance

~ Tasha. ( #ThankYouLord )

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